what's up!

Hello my dear stalkers, :P

I just want to keep you all up to date with what's going on with my life!

Firstly, whatever that got me depressed and emo is of no more! Everything is fine now (: I am happy again!

Secondly, I am working!! My company is awesome! The people are very nice and willing to teach me anddddddddddd we don't work weekends and until ungodly hours of the night!

Third, Godash bought me my new own and first manchester united ladies jersey flown all the way from UK just for me! Thanks baby! I can wear it to manchester united's asia tour when they come down here! I love it so much (:


Lastly, here are photos of my clubbing session last saturday night! C Mui & Aya was so nice to worry about me when I was emo and planned to take me out for a drinking party! And so we did! Haha i sark at drinking. Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with me! I puked T_T so unhot of me! Anyways, talking about hot, that night ah, berbanyak-banyak strangers talk to aya. No guys want to ask me and C Mui for our numbers T_T not like I would give or I want la but but but... I not pretty meh? Every good looking person sure got not as good looking friends wan ma, even their not so good looking friends don't want to approach me ): Anyways, those two sor pohs of mine are in singapore doing hair extensions up to their butt! Olala! Can't wait to see it! I love them both! Anyways that was the 1st night I offically told my parents that i was going clubbing and they never scold or lecture me! Yay!



P.S.
I plan to buy a new phone with 3G and GSP! Any good suggestions? No N series please! Tramautized by my old N70. So many repairs T_T

Oh ya, I wore white and pink today to church :P Daddy bought me the blouse yesterday when we went out for lunch. Hehe everyone was pretty shocked to see me in such sweet ladylike colours! I was nice to wear something different every now and then! I think I looked good! Paired it with my earrings and necklace that I bought from lowyat forum. I looked like a kindergarden teacher!

There is also a person name "cursefern" writting hateful things about me in my chatbox so I've removed the whole box (: not to worry! I'm not offended or affected by it because whatever that person reaps will also sow what that person has done. Hehe :P

Adios!

more retail for me!

bought more stuff online again :P
hehehe don't jugde meeeeee!
it makes me happy!

a little faster then walking (:

Today, I jogged!
And I suck at it :P

At least those almost brand new jogging shoes i should centuries back, got some fresh air!


*random* i saw a fly pooped today O.o interesting?

tired

I need to sleep but I can't.
I hate it how the face I see is yours when I close my eyes.
I just want to get over this pain and get on with my life.

I don't think I ever asked much from you, have I?
I don't ask for diamonds, flowers and all that romantic shit.

Argh, yes yes I'm whining. Its my blog. I get to flood in with whatever nonsense i want and I want to whine.

I feel so lost. What have I ever done to you?

Am I so boring? Is it because I'm getting older?
Is it because I'm not as free cause I'm working?
Is it because I'm fat? What do they have that I don't?

I'm beautiful too. I'm nice too.
I'm special in my own way that no one can compete in.

I'm so damn tired.
arghhhhhhhhh.

I need a drinking buddy -.-
Any volunteers?

Retail Therapy

I just ordered a high waist skirt! Going to COD with the seller later! hope its nice on me! Free size stuff are always too small for fatty me T___T

Wanted to get more high waist skirts from her also wan but i need to control! Must not always spend all my money on clothes and live in debt!

Eeeeeee... I can't wait! <3 It makes me happy. Stop judging meeeeeeee :P

Thank God for giving me the strength and inspiration to design for my freelance job. I presented it today to my client become buddy, roshan and he likes it! yay! after a few attempts, I like the latest design best!

Anyways, gonna cut the veges and stuff for tonight's dinner. We're having tom yam fried rice :D ooo ahhh.

I'm doing great and standing up on my two feet again! So don't worry about me!

disappointment

I have not slept.

I don't plan to sleep anyways, because I know once I stop doing everything and lie down, I will cry.

I hate crying over this.
I hate crying because of you.

If only I didn't love you so much, I could turn my heart cold.

You've scarred me.
I just want to get over this and close this chapter of my life.

I just want to be happy.

Why can't I be happy?

I hate you for making me love you.
I just want to forget and everything and wish all this was a stupid nightmare.

I don't ever want to shed another tear for you.

Dissapointed

I am upset.
I really don't want to compete anymore.

I hate feeling like this.
I hate crying.
I hate how you could betray me.

I'm giving up.

If only I could turn back time.

through out the years (:

Fuji Apple, I Am.

I watched X-Men last Friday with Godash, it was so awesome! I have no idea why people say its bad. Weird weird people. Hmm if i have super powers... i think i would like the ability to teleport or become invisible at will. maybe being a super shield would also be awesome! it would be nice to all it all. Teleportation would benefit me by saving me tons of money pumping petrol and save alot of time instead of being stuck in jams, invisibility would allow me to be around and not be seen, I could walk around naked and no one will know! hahaha... shield would be cool too! I could cross the pedestrian crossings without the fear of flying (if you know what i mean) :P and mosquitoes would be able to bite me anymore! yipee.

This topic reminds me of a question Fariz asked me and my friends during lunch, "if you could be a fruit, what fruit will you be?". I answered "fuji apple!". Haha, don't you think I'd be a fuji apple? Fariz is a rambutan and tracy is a passion fruit according to me! What fruit do you think you'll be? I wouldn't be suprised if facebook has a quiz for that!

Anyways, I've been pretty emo lately T_T I think I have some issues. I'm quite a jealous person. I think that my problem. I always look at think that I don't have and forget about how lucky I am to have what I have. I'm jealous about so many things such as, looking like crap without my make up when I used to look just fine without any and all the younger girls in high school and college look like how i use to, healthy glowy skin. I'm jealous about those rich kids that don't have to worry or work for anything in their lives and get everything they want whether or not its expensive. They said money can't buy love but they look pretty happy I'm also jealous on how certain people get attention from people whom should be paying attention to me ): I always turn to retail therapy to deal with the pain and stress but I know that's not the right treatment but it helps you know T_T okay okay, enough ranting. I just needed to get it all out. Unhealthy to keep it all in you know?

I went over to paws today because I got a call from a girl named Pauline who also lost her dog saying they just received 3 new shih tzus found at Subang Jaya. Sadly... Junior was not there. I miss him. I really do still miss my baby. Although I don't show it anymore. I still do.

Anyways, I'm starting work this coming Monday. I hope I can cope and do my bestest job and make new friends there! *phew* big step for me! Thank God, I can still watch Manchester United win the champion league right before I go HK! My boss is letting me still go for my Hong Kong trip with mummy to witness Ah Fatt's Hong Kong marriage. And I get 2 days leave after I come back too! Now i gotta finish up my freelance job so I can focus focus focus! I got another offer though to design some stuff. So temptinggggggg....

Here are photos of Godash's birthday this year. Ambushed him after our dinner with a birthday cake back at my place! I bought a giant football beanbag for him. Didn't know what else to buy for him this year. Bought him a Manchester United jersey and training kit last year. My football junkie! Haha you're getting old :P my 24 years old man! Better plan my 21st with the most awesome plan as promised!



quick update:
I'm a drama junkie :P been juggling grey's anatomy and "war & beauty" lately. It's a dynatsy concubine eat concubine show. Love their hair pieces and clothes :D

Change

Change is difficult don't you think so? Right now in my life I'm starting a new chapter. No longer am I a student anymore but I'll be starting work soon. It is really scary doing this that are different. At first, it didn't stuck me as such a big thing. I was super excited to graduate and then go for my interview and thank God I got the job! But it is all going so fast. I cried yesterday to Godash because I was afraid. I still am. But I'm really looking forward to working at my new company. They're really different from other agencies. Good people who don't believe in smoking, drugs and drinking.

I prayed to God many of times for Him to provide me a job with the right company. So I have faith that this is the right decision. Even though I still feel not ready and I still want to bum around. I know this is what I should do. I shouldn't miss out on this opportunity to work with such a nice company just because I don't feel 100% ready. Just last Sunday, Ps. Gloria said during her sermon, that NOBODY is 100% ready but we can't just quit half way or when we're about to finish. I know I can do this and I will give it my all! I shall be the best graphic designer they'll ever have!

I'll have faith that my relationship, friends and family life will still be okay and I won't be a lifeless zombie!

Right now, I'm doing up my freelance job as well and fast as I can so that when I start work I can focus on it and do a really good job!



Just today, I was thinking maybe I should have a goal. What should I save up for? Car? Nahh... I'm very fond of my myvi :D so.... I've decided on remodelling my room! Yippeee! I have everything planned out. Will upload a sketch of it later on. Can't wait to earn enough to do up my room!


Yesterday morning & today morning I watched Manchester United vs. Arsenal and then Chelsea vs. Barcelona. Things are looking good as we're in the finals now :D we shall get the title straight in a row for two years!


Anyways, last Thrusday Aya invited C Mui, Ricky, Stephy & I to her nephew's BBQ birthday party. It's always fun talking rubbish with them. Stephy and C mui was gambling with Campy's friends so Aya, Masy, Ricky & I chit chat. Then after awhile C mui came and she ahh... OMG told them all my stupid embrassing stories which I totally blocked out of my mind already. I laughed until i cried. Haha.


norm norm!


of course, we'll camwhore together :P


I kena con -.- I thought we were doing the "james bond/charlie's angel" back to back pose.


Masy hates to take photos but he still took one with us :D


For those of you who don't know, I am a hardcore Grey's Anatomy fan ;P I love them all. I took this facebook test and the results made me go "WT...". Haha, seriously? Me, Cristina? Racist! Hahaha I thought I was quite a Meredith!


seriously? seriously? :P


I might not be able to blog much once I start working. See how it goes yea? Till my next post, see ya!


regards,
fernfern

3 & 1/2 things to say

italianies double date :P

C mui asked me to go out with her, ricky and aya for dinner in pyramid they wanted to go to the bazaar (shoppaholics la u all! haha) so she asked me "where got vegetarian food ah?" I thought she dah jadi vegetarian! Happiness until she said "no la, ricky sick have to eat vegetarian for 2 days". Haha char tou! Never the less, I had fun eating a very expensive dinner but it was so so good :D we had to ta pao cause too jelak la the carbonara pasta. I miss hanging out with them so much T_T I'm glad that now I'm done with college, I can at least hang out with them more than I could before!


kawaiii :P


couple no.1


couple no.2


couple no.1 & 2


H.E.L.P

Godash performed at HELP talent night with his bandmates (:


my rawkstar!


aircon

Juliana, Hanis, Tracy, Fariz, Nina, Hafiz, Jessica, Godash & I went to KL Pac to watch the "air con" play. Nic Davis was in it. I didn't realise until he came out and the end of the show to where everyone was and started to hug and kiss Nina more "intermately" then a normal peck will then I asked Fariz & Hafiz "Eh, isn't that Nic?". They said "ya la!". I didn't knowwww... The actors were really good wei. They were so one with the play. Turns out to be one of them, Ryan is kor's ex classmate. The play is about a story based in an all boys school with quite a few girly boys, and one day an trannie was beaten to death and one of the boys in the school did it and so the story goes like that. The play is kind of disturbing but interesting cause of the twist and also the awesome props.


thanks jess for taking the photo (:


you & i


quick update
The weather is too hot. i'm tired and stress plus sick and I got an interview on Tuesday morning for a job. Pray for meeeeeeeeeeeee please. thanks!