Saturday, June 14, 2008

Potholes in life

I know I'm late in uploading "school girl" day and "baby doll" day pictures >< I'll do it asap. Just been so busy lately.

Emotionally and physcially drained.

I was just sharing with my problems again with my brother on the way home from supper after youth about some people in life that are just so difficult to love. Lately, so many people has let me down. A few of them smile at me as if I was their friends but behind my back they are bitching about me.

If you all hate me so much or like to kick dirt in my face when I'm down, why not just come up to me and smack it right into my face? better then you people always hurting the people I love. As if its not enough just killing me? You all want to kill the people I love too? Not only do you people do that but you also bring my hopes down.

I was just sharing with my brother, my frustration, my hurt, my tears. Its so hard to change. I know I'm trying very hard to be a better person and try to be the bigger person at moments like this and not come up to your face and punch it into the ground like I would probably do when I was me back then but instead now I pray for you all at night. For God to bless you all and your families. Satefy, finacially and emotionally but what do i get in return? Sometimes I think people just don't see how much I'm trying to change what's negetive in me. Just because you think I don't know what you all say about me, doesn't mean I don't know. Trust me I know.

Then there is another group of people that are also really difficult to love. Arghhh.. It's so frustrating. You don't have to be someone who you're not for me to listen to you. Don't have to try to act cool and tell me how "cool" you are or talk funny or walk funny or act funny. I'm really trying so hard to love you all. Why must things be so difficult.

Then hope shined through my dark skies as my brother reminded me that "people will always let you down but God will never" and best of all, he told me he''ll never let people bring me down. I feel much better now.

I will stand by this and continue to be strong. I will still continue to try to love you and forgive.

2 comments:

dolphin_dancing said...

ooyor dun sad/ angry anymore k.....i miss uuuu!!! i can;t even rmb how long i haven't seen u or tembung into u di. i rmb the last few times i always somehow meet u at parade wit hun yu wan. haha

fernfern said...

hehe thanks for ure support :D don't worry its just a phase. *hugs* we should meet up soon! my hols are in aug!